Blah blah blah. Mandy is nervously typing about her nervous nerves.

My bags are all packed, my nursery is all set up, I'm all stocked up with diapers, wipes & enough baby wash to last me two years. I'm all ready to go. Now all I have to do is wait. I'm so nervous. I wish I could just go into labor tonight & get it over with. I cannot believe within the next two days I will have my own BABY! Unless I go into labor before Tuesday morning (which I really don't see happening.)
I'm so excited to not be a huge, wobbling pregnant lady anymore. I'm so nervous about meeting my baby. I know I'll do a good job taking care of him. I honestly feel like I was put on this planet to be a mother. I've spent my whole life taking care of babies & have been living vicariously through my sister's mothering experience since she had my nephew, Noah 8 years ago. I just hope everything goes smoothly. I'm so worried that I'll have to have a cesarian, or that something goes wrong during labor. I'm worried that I won't be able to get him to latch or that I won't be able to produce enough food for him. I'm afraid to drive him home, or drive him anywhere else. I'm scared that he'll get sick. I'm nervous about giving birth without Cody physically present. I'm also stressed because I don't even know for sure when Cody will be home. All I know is it's soon. Ohhh boy. I should probably just try harder to not think of these things at all.
On the bright side: I'm no longer too worried about the pain involved which is pretty strange. It seems like a pretty petty thing to worry about compared to other things now. I'm not ruling out the epidural, but instead of being 100% down for it, I've more shifted to wanting to wait until I absolutely can't take it before I numb myself up. Why? Because I think that my labor will progress further without it & my chance of having to have a c-section will decrease if my body is allowed to do it's thing.
Aside from all of these worries I have swimming around in my brain, I really am out of control excited. I feel like it's Christmas eve & I'm waiting for Santa. Deep down I know everything is going to be perfect. I think all of the anxiousness I've been pushing aside & distracting myself from for the past 6 months is finally making an appearance now that I'm all out of distractions.